Thursday, May 26, 2011

Holiday or No Holiday?

Well it's coming to the end of the first semester of school and everyone is looking forward to the 2 weeks break. However, after starting 3 weeks of school, the teachers already started to show their true colours of giving homework. Imagine there's like 6 long questions for Biology, 5 graphs to analyse and tonnes of objective questions for Pengajian Am, 1 report for MUET, 2 topical practice for Maths and I guess there will be more to come from this.. Well it pretty much looks like my holiday is gonna be occupied by homework and nothing but homework... Lets hope the teachers will rest on their laurels tomorrow and relax a little as the intensity of Form 6 life kicks in. However, I am still not sure as to where my future lies as I had already applied for a place in the University of Nottingham. I wonder what's the outcome of the application. It could be my only way out from this...



Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Confused....

Everything seemed right when the SPM results was released.. Getting 7A+ and 2A was more than I asked for that time. Everyone was excited and was pretty optimistic that I would get the JPA scholarship... However, 2 months later, after the JPA result was released, the whole mood seems to change and my results were no longer good enough. Believe or not, I am just short by a freaking A+ as the government set the benchmark to 8A+ for a guaranteed scholarship... When my dreams of being a doctor seemed realistic, the announcement of the JPA just shattered my dreams and left me with nothing but doing Form 6. It was something I least expect that I would do.. Nevertheless, there were moments that my mom gave me some options whether to enrol into a university but somehow I don't see her fancying my choice of taking Foundation in Science rather than continue with Form 6. She often came out with topics such as her friends’ daughter said Form 6 is good and that her "so called rich" friend sent her daughter to Form 6 because she wanna save money or whatever it is.. Well those words are not encouraging at all to me.. When I made a choice of doing foundation studies, she starts telling that Form 6 is better.. Yes it is better but can I cope? I am pretty much confuse myself.. Nevertheless my family are rather supportive saying that I will definitely ace my STPM next year but I don't see myself doing that well.. I only see myself in the gallows and troubled waters... I don't have the confidence anymore... I don't think I can cope with it... Where’s the Matthew who once had full confidence and headstrong attitude have disappeared to…?