Friday, January 6, 2012

Dilemma

It has nearly been 3 years since we know each other and I realised there’s a buzz whenever I thought about her. What could this be? I know I have been close to her for a while now but I guess this is different. It occurred to me for some time already but I’m just too afraid to risk a friendship that is so perfect, as I myself ain’t too sure about my feelings and at the same time not knowing how she feels. Maybe she’s treating me nice all this time is because I’m good friend of hers but not more than that. That’s a huge question that lingers on my mind. This is something I will never find out until I tell her my true feelings first. Part of me would like to take a risk but my sensible part is stopping me as it’s gonna be hard for us to remain together as she will be continuing her studies in Australia. Sigh… I’m in a dilemma now. Nevertheless, I can still be grateful that I managed to ask her to be my prom date. Now how about that? Whee!! I hope I can make the right decision soon enough so that I could end this complication in my mind and heart. One thing for sure, she’s one girl hard girl to find in this world. No one is perfect, but she’s the closest to perfect for me.

*Maybe I’m Friendzoned. Haha!!*

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Downfall

It's been 5 months or so since I enrolled into my university and here's a short summary of what I felt throughout that time. It's the first time I feel so stupid in life (Apart from taking part in the Olympiad Maths). Knowing so little and everything seems so difficult. Sigh. It's so horrible. No matter how hard I tried, I definitely can't understand something. Damn!! I can only hope the future will be easier. Feels like giving up. But I can't let anyone down, not myself too. I know I can do it, but where have all the confidence in me had gone? Lost? I hope I can gain it again.... *storyofabrokenstudent*

P.S. IMO, SPM is just a lie. No matter how good your results may be, it not necessarily help you in the end. It does not apply to everyone though..